The Universe turned inside-out

The time was 1968-69. It was the zenith of the counter-culture movement in the United States. I was all of 14 and fancied myself a hippie (or at least as much of one as you could be in a conservative rural community). By this time, I had already discovered alcohol and was ripe for trying some of the more exotic forbidden fruit.

Now before I start my confession, you must put this in historical context. We’re talking over 40 years ago. Comedian Dana Carvey–who is the same age as me–once said the slogan for this era should have been “just say yes to drugs.” After all, Nixon didn’t sign the Controlled Substances Act into law until 1970.

This, by the way, is the other main reason for my “Adult Content” warning. I managed to survive several things I’m sure you don’t want your sons or daughter’s trying. Even if you did some of the same things, I’m sure it would keep you up at night if you thought of your offspring doing anything close to what you and I did back in the day. So, read on if you dare and Mom, please don't read any further. Nothing good can come of it.

My second encounter with things psychoactive (alcohol was first) was marijuana. This seemed to be the “bread and butter” of the counter-culture at the time. Back then, asking someone “Are you cool?” meant “Do you smoke pot?” Most people under 25 were cool. If you’ve never tried it (and I’m NOT suggesting you do), cannabis produces a very different state of consciousness than alcohol. Results may vary, but by-and-large pot tends to make one more relaxed and mellow. Sensual things–eating, listening to music, having your naked body touched, etc. taste, sound, and feel–as Tony the Tiger would say–GRRREAT! There is some loss of inhibition, but not in the same way as alcohol. It would be hard to imagine someone getting pissed off and wanting to fight while high on pot. If you decide to surrender your virginity while on pot, it would likely be because you feel a cosmic connection with the other person (besides it feeling so damn good), not because you are passed out and can’t say “no.”

Smoking pot was nice. I actually liked it more than alcohol. But alcohol was de rigueur at high school parties. No matter what the side dishes were, alcohol was always the main course. And pot does give you “cotton mouth,” so you have to drink something.

I quickly discovered that pot wasn’t the evil weed portrayed in Refer Madness. So I–like many others–figured the “other stuff” wasn’t so bad either. Before long, the list of psychoactives I had tried was longer than those I had not tried. Everything changed, however, with my first experience with LSD.

During the mid to late sixties, there was one group of chemicals that NOBODY was prepared for. They were called “Psychedelics” or “Hallucinogens” and included chemicals with names so long and complicated that they usually went by initials–LSD, MDA, DMT, etc. These are fundamentally VERY different than what everyone was used to. Drinking, smoking some pot, and maybe popping some speed every now and then does not prepare one for a full-blown experience with a substance such as LSD. This is the primary reason so many people had “bad trips.” It was not so much the drug, but the lack of appropriate preparation for taking it. In most properly structured clinical settings, LSD and similar substances showed great promise (and still do today) as therapy for mental and addictive disorders.

Well, fortunately I did not fall victim to the “bad trip,” in fact quite the opposite occurred. While those who had “bad trips” were afraid their experience would never end, I wanted it to go on forever. Initially, I was foolish enough to take this stuff at parties (definitely not recommended). But it was after the party ended and I was home laying in bed alone that the real beauty of LSD revealed itself to me. It seemed to open my mind to thoughts and ideas that led to questioning the very nature of reality. Suddenly, my existence within this infinite Universe became a prime focus of my attention. Who am I? Why am I here? What’s this all about? It was as if in one fell swoop I had gone from stoner teenager to budding philosopher.

Much later, I found out that many others have had similar experiences that left them permanently transformed. Those who weren’t scared shitless over seeing everything they ever thought that was real and true melt before their eyes had something akin to a religious conversion. In fact, an experiment conducted at the Harvard Divinity School many years earlier (more about that in future posts) had found that students could not tell the difference between a “real” spiritual experience and the experience one had on these substances.

I didn’t really experience the truly transformational power of such substances till many years later when I was able to take LSD and spend a day wandering in the desert of Southern California (there’s a reason people seeking spiritual answers often go into the wilderness alone).

The problem was, I had this transformative experience, but had nowhere to put it within my existing cognitive schema. This would lead to the next chapter of my journey.

In the beginning . . .

I thought I would start with a little background information for those of you who don’t know me (and those of you who think you do). For the sake of brevity, I will be painting this history in pretty broad strokes with more detail to follow in future posts.

I was born the first child to middle class parents. My grandparents were immigrants from Sweden (paternal) and Denmark (maternal). Only recently did I discover that my paternal grandfather was from the Sami people of Swedish Lapland. These are the indigenous people–along with the Saman of Siberia and Mongolia–from which we get the word “Shaman.” This will prove to be an interesting coincidence in my latter life.

The town I grew up in was rural with an economic base of dairy farming and the timber industry. It sits atop a plateau just to the West of the Cascade Mountain foothills and Mount Rainier. In recent years it has become primarily a suburb or the Seattle-Tacoma metropolitan area–particularly for urbanites who want to play the life of a country squire–but still retains much of its rural character.

Throughout my childhood exposure to any formal religious training was mostly non-existent. I suppose we were Lutherans (in name only), as much of the town’s population, including me, was of Scandinavian heritage. I rarely, if ever, recall us going to church as a family except for occasions such as weddings. Once, my parents made a feeble attempt to send me to Sunday school with some of our neighbor’s kids, but that was very short lived. The only thing I remember about it was playing with some Jesus and friends cardboard cut-outs on a felt-covered board.

Since my parents didn’t have a strong religious conviction, they must have–at some level–seen the hypocrisy in trying to give me any kind of religious upbringing. I consider this a great advantage in my future spiritual life, as I did not have any early religious indoctrination to overcome. However, with my naturally free-thinking and rebellious nature, this would probably not have been too much of a barrier.

When I was finally old enough to intellectually grasp the concept of god–sometime in my preteens–I made the conscious choice to be atheist. At the time, I probably didn’t know the word “atheist” and if I did, I probably didn’t know what it meant. Nevertheless, having discovered Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, et al. to be “make believe,” it seemed that god–or at least the Judeao-Christian god–was make-believe as well.

A footnote: This is one reason why I have the Adult Content warning on my blog. I don’t want to be the one to shatter any child’s beliefs in Santa, etc.

The further I went in school, the more convinced I was that belief in a supernatural being was a vestigial artifact of a primitive and superstitious past. By the time I entered high school, I not only knew what atheist meant, it was a label I wore with pride. I even took the atheist position in a debate in one of my classes (back then you could talk openly about such things).

So, by the time I was in high school, I was a budding young atheist. Then something unexpected happened.

Posting Guidelines

I don't want this blog to be a debating society or a vehicle for proselytizing with the obvious goal of trying to get others to adopt your views To borrow from an "anonymous" spiritually-oriented group, this is about attraction rather than promotion. If you cannot present your views without resisting the urge to force them upon others–go elsewhere. You can post just about anything that relates to your own spiritual journey, including source teachings, etc. that assisted in your spiritual evolution. You can reference other's posts and ideas, however the following are not welcome and will not be tolerated. Such posts will be removed as soon as identified:

1. Any posts that put down others, or take the form of personal attacks:
2. Commercial promotion of any kind, or spamming.
3. Any form of hate speech that degrades a group of people simply for being a member of that group. Examples include racism, sexism, etc.

As this blog evolves, there may have to be additions or modifications to the above.

Namaste!

Inaugural Post

Throughout this blog, I will be sharing quotes from others that have had an impact in my spiritual evolution. One principle taught by the Buddha has always served as the overriding foundation of my path: “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

There are two things that I like about this teaching.

First, it empowers each individual to be their own authority in spiritual matters. Hundreds of years after the Buddha, Martin Luther used this principal as the cornerstone of the Protestant Reformation. You and you alone are the only authority for your spiritual life.

Second, it asserts that reason and common sense should guide us in our spiritual quest. I have a friend who always likes to say about his own spirituality “I don’t believe in anything that requires belief.” I think the Buddha would agree.